“No” is a full Sentence: The Art of Declining without Explaining

By Brianna Olley

Do you find yourself saying “yes” when you really want to say “no”? Are you constantly stretched thin, unable to carve out time for yourself, your tasks, or your needs? If any of this resonates, it may be time to learn The Art of Declining Without Explaining.

The People-Pleasing Trap

People-pleasing often stems from a fear of rejection or the desire to be liked. You might worry that saying no will make others feel unloved or uncared for. But here’s the truth: You don’t need to sacrifice your emotional well-being to avoid disappointing others.

Sound familiar? You might be apologizing when no apology is needed, putting everyone else’s needs before your own—and all of this leaves you emotionally drained.

A Lesson in Emotional Boundaries

Think of people-pleasing like a credit card. Every time you neglect your own needs, it’s like swiping your card without a plan to pay it back. Over time, the emotional debt builds up, leaving you overwhelmed and exhausted.

It’s crucial to start paying attention to your emotional spending and learn to say no when you need to. Your mental health is your responsibility—just as important as your physical well-being.

Interactive Element: Boundary Check-In

Which of these statements resonate with you most?

1. “I say yes to avoid disappointing others.”
2. “I find it hard to say no to plans, even when I’m overwhelmed.”
3. “I put others’ needs ahead of my own too often.”

What’s one boundary you can set today to help you put yourself first?

How to Set Boundaries

1. Be Clear, But Polite
   Declining requests doesn’t mean being rude—it means being firm yet respectful. Setting boundaries isn’t selfish; it’s a necessary act of self-respect. If someone values you, they’ll respect your boundaries.
2. Know Your Boundaries
   There are several types of boundaries to consider:
   • Physical & Sexual Boundaries: Personal space and touch.
   • Emotional Boundaries: Protecting your energy. When you feel drained, your emotional boundaries may have been crossed.
   • Intellectual Boundaries: Being able to express your ideas in your safe space.
   • Time & Spiritual Boundaries: These impact your emotional well-being and can overlap with other boundaries.
     Recognizing these helps you identify when they’ve been violated.
3. Set Consequences
   Know what will happen if your boundaries are crossed. Having consequences in place ahead of time helps ensure you uphold your limits without feeling guilty.

The Art of Declining

1. Don’t Overexplain
   Avoid giving too many details. Overexplaining opens the door for manipulation and gives others a chance to convince you to change your mind.
2. Don’t Wait—Decline Now
   The longer you delay, the more guilt you may feel. Decline as soon as the opportunity arises—don’t wait to respond.
3. Be Selective
   Boundaries aren’t just for when you’re busy. Set them during your “me time” too. Be as selective as you need to be to protect your energy.

Do You Trust Yourself?

Do You Trust Yourself?
By Shavon Carter

Trust is often seen as something we give to others and is foundational to maintaining a long-lasting relationship. We trust our friends, families, colleagues, and even systems and institutions. But what do you do when the person you don’t trust is YOU? How do you maintain a relationship with yourself while experiencing feelings of betrayal, doubt, and lack of confidence that seem to haunt you daily?

Before we answer that question, let’s explore why self-trust is important.

The Importance of Self-Trust

Self-trust is not about believing you are always right or perfect, nor is it about having an unwavering belief in your abilities without room for growth or improvement. It’s about having faith in your capacity to handle challenges, learn from mistakes, and make decisions that align with your values and desires. It’s about creating an internal safe space that fosters self-compassion and kindness. If you’re reading this and saying to yourself, “I’m not there yet,” it’s okay. Knowing the importance of self-trust provides an opportunity to set goals for the type of relationship you want to have with yourself.

Now that you know the importance of self-trust, what does it look like when you don’t trust yourself?

When you don’t trust yourself, you may:

• Doubt your decisions and depend on validation from others
• Not advocate for yourself and your needs
• Exhibit low self-esteem and lack confidence in your abilities and choices
• Constantly judge and criticize yourself for your decisions
• Regret the decisions that you make
• Lack clear boundaries with people
• Stay busy to avoid uncomfortable thoughts and feelings

This is not an exhaustive list, but hopefully you get an idea of what the lack of self-trust could look like for you. It was probably never your intention to walk around not trusting yourself; however, it may feel like an automatic way of being that is as familiar and comfortable as a warm, cozy blanket on a cold winter day. The good news is that it doesn’t have to stay that way. It is possible to shift your beliefs about yourself and develop confidence within that is sustainable.

How can you build self-trust?

1. Be honest with yourself: A vital part of trusting yourself is acknowledging that the lack of trust in yourself exists. Many of us struggle with it, often due to past experiences where we failed to meet our expectations, or external voices told us we weren’t enough. Owning your truth and being honest about how you feel is okay.

2. Practice self-reflection: Instead of judging and criticizing yourself for how you got to this point, get curious about your actions, choices, and emotions to understand yourself better. For example, instead of ruminating on what you believe are “bad” relationship choices, ask yourself what contributed to those decisions. What were you feeling and what did you need that led to you choosing those individuals? What did you learn from those experiences, and what do you want now? The more you seek to understand yourself, the greater the opportunity to experience self-acceptance, extend grace, and increase trust.

3. Make small commitments to yourself: Start by setting small, achievable goals and follow through with them. Whether it’s getting to work on time, completing a task, or choosing a healthy meal option, keeping promises to yourself builds confidence and reinforces trust.

4. Set boundaries with others: – An essential aspect of self-trust is being able to advocate for your needs and well-being. Setting boundaries is a direct reflection of your trust in your judgment and awareness of what is healthy and necessary for your emotional, mental, and physical health.

5. Practice self-compassion: Trusting yourself means extending grace and kindness to yourself, especially when things don’t go as planned. Be patient with yourself, knowing you’re on a journey and that growth is not an overnight process.

When you trust yourself, you unlock the power to face life with courage, resilience, and the understanding that you have the strength to overcome no matter what happens. So, know that you’re worth putting forth the effort to build that trust. 

The Importance of Self-Care for Working Professionals

Written by: Sherrelle Wright, LPC

Who Are You Under Your Mask?

Written by: Trina Lynn Murray, LCSW 

Do we mask up to hide the stress of rearing children, managing a relationship, or a career? Is it the house, repairs, finances, or childhood trauma? Could it be our broken hearts or the long lingering grief we hide? 

It’s easy to feel the pressure of being insufficient in a world that often glorifies perfection. 

An image of having it all together. Social media, workplace culture, and even personal relationships can amplify this need to appear polished, in control, and unfazed by life’s challenges. However, what happens when the mask falls off? 

The weight of pretending 

Carrying the weight of perfection is exhausting. Pretending to have it all together can create a disconnect between your true self and the image you present to the world. Keeping the mask on often leads to feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and a sense of imposter syndrome. The mask may provide temporary validation, but it comes at the cost of authenticity and genuine connection 

of oneself. 

Fear 

One of the reasons we cling to the mask is fear. Fear of judgment, rejection, or weakness. Vulnerability feels risky, but it’s also where true growth and connection happen. When you let go of the need to be perfect, you open the door to deeper relationships and a true understanding of oneself. 

You Without the Mask

Letting go of the mask is not about giving up or falling apart, it’s about stepping into your truth. When you stop trying to control how others perceive you, you create space to explore who you really are. Your values, passions, strengths, and even your imperfections. This self-discovery can be liberation and empowering. 

How to Allow the Mask to Fall Off 

First, acknowledge the mask. Then, identify the areas in your life where you feel the need to appear perfect. Reflect on why this might be and most importantly, what it’s costing you. 

Second, practice vulnerability. Start small. Identify a safe space to share something about yourself. Notice how it feels to let your guard down. 

Third, celebrate that you have a safe space to share. 

Fourth, treat yourself with kindness. 

Finally, redefine success. Shift your focus from external valuation to internal fulfillment. Surround yourself with people who value you because having a safe space to be yourself is invaluable. 

The Way Forward 

Discovering who you are without the mask is a journey. It’s about peeling back the layers of self-imposed pressures to reveal the unique, imperfect, and beautiful person beneath the surface. So, ask yourself: Who are you when you let go of the need to have it all together? The answer might surprise you –– and it might just set you free.

The Circle Presents

Ongoing Support Groups

Every 1st and 3rd Tuesday.

Looking to join? Give us a call at (240) 232-5607 or email us at vitality@vhwcorg.com

Embracing the Mid-Year Reset: Strategies for Recharging and Realigning Your Goals

As we reach the midpoint of the year, it’s the perfect time to take a step back, reflect, and reset our goals. The hustle and bustle of daily life can sometimes lead us astray from our intentions set at the beginning of the year. June, with its longer days and warmer weather, provides an ideal opportunity to reassess our progress and make necessary adjustments. Here are some strategies to help you recharge and realign your goals for a successful second half of the year.

1. Reflect on the Past Six Months

Start by taking a moment to look back at the first half of the year. What were your achievements? What challenges did you face? Reflecting on these experiences can provide valuable insights and highlight areas where you excelled and where you might need to focus more attention.

2. Revisit Your Goals

Reevaluate the goals you set at the beginning of the year. Are they still relevant to your current situation and aspirations? It’s perfectly okay if some goals no longer resonate with you. Adjust them or set new ones that align better with where you are now and where you want to go.

3. Prioritize Self-Care

Self-care is crucial for maintaining motivation and productivity. Take time to recharge your physical, emotional, and mental health. Whether it’s through regular exercise, meditation, hobbies, or spending quality time with loved ones, make self-care a non-negotiable part of your routine.

4. Create a Plan of Action

Once you’ve realigned your goals, break them down into actionable steps. Creating a clear plan with smaller, manageable tasks can make achieving your goals less overwhelming and more attainable. Set deadlines to keep yourself accountable and track your progress regularly.

5. Embrace Flexibility

Life is unpredictable, and being adaptable is key to staying on track with your goals. Be open to changing your plans if necessary and don’t be too hard on yourself if things don’t go as expected. Flexibility allows you to navigate challenges more effectively and maintain a positive mindset.

6. Celebrate Small Wins

Recognize and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Celebrating achievements, both big and small, can boost your motivation and reinforce positive behavior. It’s a reminder that you’re moving in the right direction and that your efforts are paying off.

7. Seek Support and Accountability

Sharing your goals with friends, family, or a support group can provide encouragement and accountability. Consider finding an accountability partner who can help keep you on track and offer support during challenging times.

8. Focus on Mindfulness and Gratitude

Practicing mindfulness and gratitude can enhance your overall well-being and keep you grounded. Take a few moments each day to appreciate the positive aspects of your life and to stay present. This practice can help reduce stress and increase your overall happiness.

The mid-year point is a wonderful time to pause, reflect, and reset. By taking proactive steps to realign your goals and prioritize your well-being, you can set yourself up for a successful and fulfilling second half of the year. Remember, it’s not about perfection but progress. Embrace the journey, celebrate your efforts, and keep moving forward. Here’s to a revitalized and goal-oriented remainder of the year!

Empowering Tomorrow: Children’s National Mental Health Awareness Day

Celebrating National Minority Health Month: Prioritizing Equity and Well-being

April marks National Minority Health Month, a time dedicated to raising awareness about health disparities that persist among racial and ethnic minority populations in the United States. It’s an opportunity to shed light on the importance of addressing these disparities and promoting health equity for all communities. In this blog post, we’ll explore the significance of National Minority Health Month and discuss ways to prioritize the health and well-being of minority populations.

Understanding Health Disparities: Health disparities refer to differences in health outcomes and access to healthcare services among different population groups. These disparities are influenced by various factors, including socioeconomic status, education, environment, and access to healthcare. Unfortunately, racial and ethnic minority groups often face disproportionate barriers to quality healthcare, leading to higher rates of chronic diseases, lower life expectancies, and overall poorer health outcomes.

The Impact of COVID-19: The COVID-19 pandemic has further highlighted existing health disparities, with minority communities experiencing higher infection rates, hospitalizations, and mortality rates compared to white populations. Factors such as limited access to healthcare, crowded living conditions, and underlying health conditions contribute to the increased vulnerability of minority groups to the virus. National Minority Health Month serves as a reminder of the urgent need to address these disparities and ensure equitable access to healthcare services, particularly during public health crises.

Promoting Health Equity: Achieving health equity requires collaborative efforts from policymakers, healthcare providers, community organizations, and individuals. Here are some key strategies to promote health equity:

1. Culturally Competent Care: Healthcare providers should receive training in cultural competency to better understand and address the unique needs of diverse patient populations.
2. Increasing Access to Healthcare: Efforts to expand healthcare coverage and improve access to primary care services, including preventive screenings and vaccinations, are essential for reducing disparities.
3. Addressing Social Determinants of Health: Addressing social determinants such as poverty, housing instability, and food insecurity is crucial for improving health outcomes in minority communities.
4. Community Engagement: Empowering communities to take an active role in promoting health and wellness through education, outreach programs, and grassroots initiatives.
5. Advocacy and Policy Change: Advocating for policies that address systemic inequalities in healthcare, including Medicaid expansion, affordable housing initiatives, and investments in underserved communities.

As we observe National Minority Health Month, let us renew our commitment to advancing health equity and eliminating disparities in healthcare. By working together to address the social, economic, and environmental factors that contribute to poor health outcomes, we can create a healthier and more equitable future for all Americans. Let this month serve as a catalyst for meaningful action and lasting change in the pursuit of health equity for minority populations.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

Let’s talk about Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)! Most of us love this time of the year due to the holidays, spending time with family and loved ones. However, the change of seasons can cause significant alterations in your mood. Less sun, colder temps, and decreased social engagements/turn-ups can impact your mood if you are not careful.  Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) can resemble depression, and you should be aware of the following signs.

• Feelings of fatigue and being tired all of the time 
• Excessive sleeping or decreased ability to sleep 
• Weight gain due to overeating or loss of appetite 
• Difficulty concentrating 
• Not wanting to engage in activities or be around people that you once enjoyed
• Increased agitation, irritability, or anxiety 

What causes Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)?

• Serotonin Levels- Serotonin keeps us happy! With decreased sunlight comes decreased levels of the “happy” chemicals our brain naturally makes. Low levels of serotonin equal depressed mood.
• Disruption in sunlight affects our circadian rhythm/our internal clock! If your body’s biological clock is disrupted, sadness may pursue.

When should you seek help for SAD? 

• Problems at school and work as a result of your symptoms
• Social withdraw from family and loved ones
• Increased use of substances to cope
• Thoughts of wanting to harm yourself or others

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